They Say Itís Hard For a Pimp, But Extra Hard for These Hoes... - High-Def Digest Forums
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Old 03-07-2008, 11:10 AM
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Default They Say Itís Hard For a Pimp, But Extra Hard for These Hoes...

Let me say it up front that I'm more of a browser than a poster. I only read about the sales and news posted for high def movies, so my opinion is based only on the Blu vs. Red sections, but as a female, I find it very difficult to be active on this forum. I signed up a couple months back with a friend (who is a guy) and have had a difficult time participating because these forums seem so male driven. I don't want to say the forums are sexist, because that seems harsh, but there seems to be an extreme slant towards the guys.

Whenever a review or news is posted for a "chick flick," pretty much everybody slams it. The few women who do speak up and show interest are verbally crucified or their opinions are completely ignored. I feel sorry for the men who may actually like these movies too. And it's not just the sappy romantic comedies - it's pretty much anything with a female lead who isn't a sex symbol. For example, news of a Sandra Bullock or Hilary Swank release gets trashed, while news of an Angelina Jolie flick is considered "awesome."

And the attitudes of some of the guys on here are so disgusting. Let me paraphrase some of the general responses from men when news of a female driven title is released: "TOTAL PASS. I might buy this for my girlfriend/wife, but only for the obvious benefits of getting laid afterwards." So much is wrong with that typical response that it blows my mind. I'm not sure what bothers me more - the insinuation that the girl is incapable of buying a movie herself or that she can only have it as encouragement or a reward for sex.

I don't want to go all feminist, which I know I'm very close to doing, but news flash, guys - girls like movies too. We can buy our own movies, watch our favorite movies by ourselves, and our opinions matter just as much as yours do. So the next time you see news posted for a "chick flick" you're not interested in, think before you bash it (and those of us who love it). There's room for everyone's opinions. With women being such a minority on these boards, every time a guy minimizes something we like, it makes us feel small.

Obviously, I can't speak for every girl here, but when I read a lot of the stuff that guys are saying on here, I feel like the little girl who's isolated because none of the little boys will let her play games with them. It shouldn't be like that with movies. Movies should bring people together no matter what the genre is and no matter what the format is. So stop treating girls like they're second class citizens here. If you can't see it happening you're in definite denial. There's more to movies than fighting, car chases, explosions, and boobs.

Anyway, that's all I wanted to say.
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Old 03-07-2008, 11:27 AM
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After I got married, my wife opened my senses to some good "chick-flicks". I have since expanded my horizons and I'll watch anything at least once before judging it. Some "Chick-Flicks" that I do like are...

Steel Magnolias
Erin Brockovich
Fried Green Tomatoes
Bridget Jones Diary
Little Children

As for your post above, you like what you wanna like. Don't let anyone give you crap about it. I, like you, are a movie lover. Simple as that.
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Old 03-07-2008, 12:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoundsLikePink View Post
Let me say it up front that I'm more of a browser than a poster. I only read about the sales and news posted for high def movies, so my opinion is based only on the Blu vs. Red sections, but as a female, I find it very difficult to be active on this forum. I signed up a couple months back with a friend (who is a guy) and have had a difficult time participating because these forums seem so male driven. I don't want to say the forums are sexist, because that seems harsh, but there seems to be an extreme slant towards the guys.

Whenever a review or news is posted for a "chick flick," pretty much everybody slams it. The few women who do speak up and show interest are verbally crucified or their opinions are completely ignored. I feel sorry for the men who may actually like these movies too. And it's not just the sappy romantic comedies - it's pretty much anything with a female lead who isn't a sex symbol. For example, news of a Sandra Bullock or Hilary Swank release gets trashed, while news of an Angelina Jolie flick is considered "awesome."

And the attitudes of some of the guys on here are so disgusting. Let me paraphrase some of the general responses from men when news of a female driven title is released: "TOTAL PASS. I might buy this for my girlfriend/wife, but only for the obvious benefits of getting laid afterwards." So much is wrong with that typical response that it blows my mind. I'm not sure what bothers me more - the insinuation that the girl is incapable of buying a movie herself or that she can only have it as encouragement or a reward for sex.

I don't want to go all feminist, which I know I'm very close to doing, but news flash, guys - girls like movies too. We can buy our own movies, watch our favorite movies by ourselves, and our opinions matter just as much as yours do. So the next time you see news posted for a "chick flick" you're not interested in, think before you bash it (and those of us who love it). There's room for everyone's opinions. With women being such a minority on these boards, every time a guy minimizes something we like, it makes us feel small.

Obviously, I can't speak for every girl here, but when I read a lot of the stuff that guys are saying on here, I feel like the little girl who's isolated because none of the little boys will let her play games with them. It shouldn't be like that with movies. Movies should bring people together no matter what the genre is and no matter what the format is. So stop treating girls like they're second class citizens here. If you can't see it happening you're in definite denial. There's more to movies than fighting, car chases, explosions, and boobs.

Anyway, that's all I wanted to say.
You make some valid points.I for one see nothing wrong in chick flicks as a genre.Unfortunately decent chick flicks in the last 5 or 6 years have been pretty scarce.I don't knock a movie for what it tries to be but rather for what it is.If a movie is terrible than it's terrible.If there has been a good chick flick in the last year or two Ive missed it.That genre is producing almost as many bad films as video game knockoffs(Resident Evil,Hitman etc.)
Hollywood used to make great romantic comedies in the 30's,40's and 50's.Unfortunately that is no longer the case.
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Old 03-07-2008, 12:09 PM
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There's a few twits here, that's for sure.
But we're not all like that, some of us do enjoy movies that don't have any fighting robots or half naked surgically enhanced women in them.
If you find someone's post offensive or dumb, let them know about it.
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Old 03-07-2008, 12:10 PM
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Same here, I'm very open minded to any movie type, as long as the movie is good and I can relate to it.

Some "Chick-Flicks" I like are:

Volver
Music & Lyrics
The wedding Singer

Angelina Jolie is ok, but acting wise, Jodie Foster kicks ass!

favorite female actresses for me are:
Jodie Foster (The Brave One)
Sigourney Weaver (Alien)
Cate Blanchett (Elizabeth)
Kate Beckinsale (Underworld)
Liv Tyler (LOTR)

You should start posting more. Let us know what films are your favorites.
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Old 03-07-2008, 08:35 PM
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It's nice to know that out of the 62 people who viewed this thread, 4 of them agree with me. lol Thanks for your support guys. I'll keep on posting.
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Old 03-07-2008, 09:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoundsLikePink View Post
I don't want to go all feminist, which I know I'm very close to doing
Do you even know what feminism is? It's not just "I'm a woman hear me roar".
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Old 03-07-2008, 09:20 PM
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being married with 2 teenage daughters, i'm well "exposed" to chick flicks. my favorites are:

-sabrina
-my best friend's wedding
-stepmom
-notting hill
-the wedding date
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Old 03-07-2008, 10:02 PM
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Comments like the one Carrie suggests kinda bother me, but not really that much. Maybe I've just grown too used to them. As "tech girl extraordinare" and a minority in my field (math and engineering both) since forever, I've always been in a big crowd of guys. Such comments aren't really common in the groups I hang out in, but they happen enough that I am well acquainted with them, and have fairly thick skin.

To an extent, I feel that guys make fun of chick flicks because they feel that they have to. That is, if they disparage them, it'll prove their masculinity to the world. Like Carrie, I do feel sorry for the men who do like these films. A man who admits that he likes watching chick flicks would probably be called "gay." (By the way, I absolutely hate it when people use "gay" as an insult. I honestly want to kick people when they say that.)

You don't usually see women going out of their way to bash the things guys like like men do for women's things. You don't usually hear a group of women chomping at the bit to bash a movie like Transformers like you see with men just waiting to pounce on "27 Dresses."

Comments like "I'll only watch this so I'll get laid" or "does the female lead get naked?" bother me a little, but not too much. I suppose that I'm just too used to it. Women are oversexed in society, and honestly, there's enough women out there who will do these things that they don't help out our cause too much. They can be heard so often that they become unoffensive after enough time.

Maybe my acceptance of such comments is what should bother me.

What does, however, bother me a lot is the general disparaging of women in regards to technical abilities, and how women are expected to be complete idiots in all things technical.

Someone recently posted something like, "When this woman started asking questions to the salesperson, I thought to myself, 'Women should never be allowed into an electronics store without being accompanied by a man. Why don't you get back into the kitchen where you belong.'" I was really hurt and really upset by that, so much so that I considered never ever coming back to this site. I then realized that the person who wrote that is just a big jerk and most people here are not like that. (Btw, I won't feel bad if the person who made that comment reads this and is upset that I called him a jerk.)

If someone wrote...

Ok, I feel the need to put a disclaimer first. What I say next is an example that plays into a very mean racist belief/stereotype. It's an absolutely disgusting comment, and I use it as an example. Everyone should be offended that there are people who would think it, but not in that I wrote it because I find it disgusting, maybe more than others.

If someone wrote, "A black salesperson came up to me and...I thought, 'Shouldn't you be out robbing people instead of here?'" I'd have to think that that person would be banned instantly, and would deserve never to come back. At least, I hope that's what would happen. Furthermore, I'd like to think that many people here would crucify someone who said something like that. However, the person who wrote the comment about women in electronics store was not banned, even though his comment was exceptionally offensive, and really in the same spirit. I'd like to think that some men would take exception to that comment as well--would you like it if someone told your significant other that she should not bother with a job and just stay home to raise the kids like a woman should?

For some reason, sexist and disparaging comments toward one gender are more tolerated in society than racist comments, and that bothers me. A lot of it goes to gender-roles and expectations for what each sex should be good at, and it doesn't help that a lot of women (not here, but in general) probably wouldn't get nearly as upset over that comment as I was, since not nearly as many women care about technology as men.

That's an extreme example. Things like that are pretty rare, thank goodness. What is far more common is to highlight gender as "Oh man, you're never going to believe how stupid this salesperson was." An example:

"So this female salesperson came up to me..." Mentioning explicitly that a salesperson is female in a that sense is obviously intended to highlight her incompetence stemming from her gender--the expectation is that she's going to say something wrong, and the writer is going to prove it. There's no reason to include such a statement for the sake of detail because the audience will be able to figure out that she's female the first time the writer uses a pronoun for her. To me, there's big difference between saying "female salesperson" and "salesgirl/woman" in that the first one is designed to bring her gender out in front, while the second is using the appropriate analog of "salesman."

I see comments like this all the time, and no one seems to bat an eye.

Another thing I see is patronizing. Someone once was telling a story about a woman and her daughter being taken for a ride by a dishonest or ignorant (not sure which) salesperson, and concluded the story with something like "Treat every woman you sell to as you would your mother or sister." In itself that doesn't seem so bad, but the tone of the entire passage was that because the two customers were female, the salesperson should have been talking down to them, or treating them like 5 year olds because they'd be too dumb to realize what was happening. If the story had been about a man and his son or even a woman with her son, and the conclusion were the same, I don't think the writer would have said, "Imagine if that were your mother and brother!" The implication there goes back to the extreme example: the woman had her son to "protect her" in the electronics store, and the man should have known better--he's a man! Certainly, no one would say, "Treat every man who walks in like he's your son." A man in an electronics store who gets taken advantage of should have known better.

I like to think I have a pretty good grasp on this stuff, and, not to sound arrogant, that I can mop the floor with 98% of the guys who post here when it comes to tech knowledge. Certainly I know that femaleness isn't a hindrance to understanding technology, but rather apathy. It is a fact that more women are apathetic to technology than men, but just because that's so doesn't mean every woman is doomed to be a clueless vacuum if someone tries to explain it to her. Certainly, any woman could learn this stuff if she wanted to, but many just don't want to. That's fine, but I hate seeing every woman who does want to get lumped in there with the rest of them.

Another thing that more of a problem with society in general is the use of the word "bitch." One time, someone here was talking about how his neighbor complained about how loud he played his home theater, and used the word "bitch" to disparage her. I took offense because it implies that any woman who complains at all is a bitch--like we're all supposed to be good little girls who just accept whatever the men around us do.

I could probably go on some more (with life experiences), but I'll end it with that. I do feel that the board has some major shaping up to do in terms of accepting more women, and everyone really need to be a little more conscious about what they're saying. The board really is not female friendly, but I don't feel it's completely intentional or people are deliberately trying to discourage women from being members. It can be hard for women to get into this stuff in the first place--to do so goes against presupposed gender roles, and there's always some courage needed to do that--so it doesn't take much to be discouraged.

Just imagine if you were doing something men aren't "allowed" to do (something considered unmasculine, or "gay" as people so love to say). Suppose you liked fashion. The first time you stepped into a nice clothing store, the salesgirls all laughed at you and made you uncomfortable the entire time you were there. Would you want to go back?
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Old 03-08-2008, 04:19 AM
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I work at an electronics store which sells these products, wont say the name, but they like to think they offer the Ultimate Purchase (get it???) and I definitely see that attitude. Even if it's not intentional, which I'm sure most times it's not, it's still there. I think that's almost everything in life though, people have their stereotypes on every subject, movies are no different, they're just highlighted cuz this is a movie board.
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