Should i keep the relationship going? (The GF is moving next year :()

[TheWrathofBambi]

Yeah... this is going to suck, next year probably late january my girlfreind is gonna be moving to another town wich is about a 3 or 4 hour away drive, shes gonna go to a bigger collage there and get a job so she will be super buzy when shes there. And with my experience long distance relationships almost never work. im already fearing that well surley be able to see eachother for the first couple of months or whatever when shes there but then what happens after that? ive been in a few long distance relationships before and they all ended on a down note...

[zombiequest]

Part on good terms now or before she heads off... My 1st girlfriend went to a bigger university 3 or 4 hours away and frustration kicks in soon enough and Frat Parties and next thing you know it ends horribly with jealousy out the wazoo on both ends. Do both of you a favor and cut it off before then or move with her if it's serious.

[TheWrathofBambi]

Its semi-serious i guess. i mean we both love eachother and have for along time, but i have no way of moving anytime soon since i have a steady job and my own place, and im not really ready to live anywhere else So... yeah that makes it complicated

[gtm]

I just went through this. I am telling you now, it will never work. The closer she gets to moving away, the more she's going to drift away. One day it will dawn on her that wow this really won't work and she'll dump you out of nowhere. I think your best bet is to save some heart ache. I wish I would have.

[project-blu]

lol the jaded thread.

yeah, i can tell you long distance is much harder, i dated someone who started going to college in Fresno (100 minute drive), and i saw her every god damn weekend. the days i saw her for only 1 day, she freaked out since it was so short. there's WAY too many complications going from close proximity to long distance. if you start it long distance, you have a much better shot.

sucks, though, but since you're already asking, you already know inside that it has a low probability of being something you want to do

[taygan315]

Originally Posted by TheWrathofBambi

Yeah... this is going to suck, next year probably late january my girlfreind is gonna be moving to another town wich is about a 3 or 4 hour away drive, shes gonna go to a bigger collage there and get a job so she will be super buzy when shes there. And with my experience long distance relationships almost never work. im already fearing that well surley be able to see eachother for the first couple of months or whatever when shes there but then what happens after that? ive been in a few long distance relationships before and they all ended on a down note...

With all due respect, it sounds like you already have your mind made up. If you have real feelings for her, then you would do anything to keep her. Distance away would not stop you. Just a question of how much she means to you. Comes a point in a relationship that you have to ask yourself ''How far do I want this to go?? Do I want to continue this and possibly see where it may lead and am I ready for that yet?? Or do I want to cut my ties now and see what else is out there??'' Part of dating is to see what kind of girl is compatible to you. If you love her, and I mean realy love her %100, then you already know what you need to do. If you have feelings for her, but are unsure what you want to do, then maybe her moving away is a good thing so that you can figure it out and also give each other a break. What does she want?? Does she feel the same as you do about the distance thing or does she think something else??? Good luck to you.

DAMN YOU DR. PHIL!!!! Stay out of my sight when my wife has the remote!!!!,lol.

[gtm]

Originally Posted by taygan315

With all due respect, it sounds like you already have your mind made up. If you have real feelings for her, then you would do anything to keep her. Distance away would not stop you. Just a question of how much she means to you. Comes a point in a relationship that you have to ask yourself ''How far do I want this to go?? Do I want to continue this and possibly see where it may lead and am I ready for that yet?? Or do I want to cut my ties now and see what else is out there??'' Part of dating is to see what kind of girl is compatible to you. If you love her, and I mean realy love her %100, then you already know what you need to do. If you have feelings for her, but are unsure what you want to do, then maybe her moving away is a good thing so that you can figure it out and also give each other a break. What does she want?? Does she feel the same as you do about the distance thing or does she think something else??? Good luck to you.

DAMN YOU DR. PHIL!!!! Stay out of my sight when my wife has the remote!!!!,lol.

I agree as well. In my earlier post, I was more "protecting" him when I said get out and run. My past relationship I was willing to do everything to make it work and so was she..... until she just lost it one day. I wouldn't want you (or anyone for that matter) to have to go through what I did. You guys are both happy then all of a sudden, she flips a switch and shuts you out. It's better to let go on easy terms. Now, I hate that %$@% (rhymes with bunt)!

[JackHunt]

The way I see it, you have a couple of options depending on the degree of seriousness of the relationship.

1) Is love involved? If so love can conquer most things. If you really love this girl, you might want to purpose to her. But don’t try and stop her from going. That will be the worst thing you could do.

2) You could take a break and stay close and let her take all the punches of failed relationships without you. The downside to that is she could meet someone else and fall in love.

3) You could try to continue the relationship and see her as much as you can. This will ultimately fail. Realistically she is starting a whole new life and sadly one that doesn’t leave much option to include you. Odds are she will meet tons of new people and this will put stress on your relationship. In most cases she will ultimately give in to the advances of another and you might also.

4) Transfer to the same school, but don’t make like you are doing it to be with her. Say hey, I never realized how many options are available at this new school and it looks like it might be a good fit.

5) Cut all ties and move on. The sooner the better. There are plenty of others out there waiting for you and somebody truly loved you, they would want to be around you no matter what.

I carried on a long distance relationship for well over a year and it worked out great for me. I met her at an summer internship at a large company and we hit it off. She unfortunately lived in Pennsylvania and I in Jersey at the time. The drive was close to 4 hours. Luckily we were both in the position to see each other a lot and it was a non stress relationship, given the fact we both liked each other and wanted to make it work. That was years ago though and would it be the same now, if I tried one again, I can’t really say. All I know is we had a great time and I don’t regret it a bit. I still miss her sometimes.

In any event, you should do what's in your heart. Love can make anything work. Than again, sometimes love just isn't enough.

[zombiequest]

I've seen great relationships end in college not only because of distance but because "Trust" begins to erode and then the woman or guy actually does the deed with someone else showing them all the attention when they're not around... it ends horribly unless you either go with her or save face and part amicably... leaving her to remenise about the one that got away. You end it good she may actually come running back to you... you let it end horribly she'll feel fine about dating others.

[LtLalue]

Originally Posted by zombiequest

I've seen great relationships end in college not only because of distance but because "Trust" begins to erode and then the woman or guy actually does the deed with someone else showing them all the attention when they're not around... it ends horribly unless you either go with her or save face and part amicably... leaving her to remenise about the one that got away. You end it good she may actually come running back to you... you let it end horribly she'll feel fine about dating others.

yes I totally agree with the posts he made here.
after going through one of these myself. it's what I wanted to do as soon as I realized she was going away to university.
split now and be friends. it's hard to do... and it's one of the things I regret not doing with my chic that dipset like that.
sure it was cool to go to another place for a few months and what not. but yeah
the trust starts to go on both ends... emotions run high and it just gets fucked.

[ben1080p]

long distance relationships NEVER WoRk!..
But the good news is that this isn't a long distance relationship. It's almost like a semi distance relationship..for which you guys can still have a chance. If you reallythink she's the one I would drive up every weekend(or everyother depening on income) and see her. I wouldn't drop it right nowthoygh forsure without seeing where it will go.

[kch2003]

This thread makes me sad...I've definitely just committed to a long distance relationship, like 6 hours away. Girlfriend went to college on the other side of the state...joining a Sorority of all things...fucking shit. But I DO really love this girl, already have 2 years in and it's been pretty amazing, of course not perfect but really really great. We'll see, I don't think the friends thing would work now because of how much I feel for her, I would almost rather end on a bad note just so I am not constantly thinking about how I wanna be with her....GOD DAMN!

[soxguy80]

A 3-4 hour drive is not that bad. If she's able to come back on the weekends or at least every other weekend there shouldn't be a problem. In fact it could probably work out because not seeing each other for a week at a time should you give you two a lot to talk about when she comes into town.

[The BJD]

My wife and I lived about six hours from each other for two years in college. It worked out but won't if two things are in play.

1. Either of you are jealous and worry all of the time
2. If either of you are cheaters.

If these two conditions don't exist the two of you can get together once or twice a month and be fine. If it is something you want to keep going it will require some regular road trips and extra effort. If she isn't someone you want to marry I would cut it off now.

[zombiequest]

I'd hate to be the depressing one here but my 1st serious relationship that ended with college was a distance of only an hour away... but neither of us had vehicles since I was in the City... (had to be a greyhound ride every weekend) She joined a sorority that had mixers with Fraternaties, etc... and worst yet had a roommate that was a total whore and cheated on her longtime boyfreind also so it was only a matter of time battling her roommates and trying to avoid them from trying to hook her up with other guys in the area. It's not your girlfriend so much as it is the new friends she makes that try to destroy her relationship for their own amusment. College is the Bane of long-distance relationships.

Once your out of college long-distance is fine... but College is too much availability accross the board.