10 Geeky Movies That Should Have Been Great, but Weren't.

[nelll]

By Ken Denmead

We've recommended a number of movies to the GeekDad readership, and we've cautioned you against a few. This time around, we're giving you a list of geeky films that should have appealed to us, should have made us drool with geeky joy, but turned out to be duds. These are movies that, if you missed them, then lucky you! And make sure not to show them to your kids - they'll thank you when they're older.

(Ed. Note: Welcome Yahoo readers! If this post gave you food for thought - or debate - consider checking out the poll we're running today where you can pick your own most disappointing geeky movie from an expanded list based on the comments we've received. And enjoy GeekDad!)

1. Mummy 3: as mentioned not too long ago on this blog, M3 was potential wasted. We all love Brendan when he's got a script and sharp co-starts to work with, but this one seemed as if he was denied both on purpose. Add to that the actor playing his son was only 13 years his younger, while Brendan hardly looks a year older than he did back in the first film (which was set nearly 20 years earlier) and you'll see why any geek worth their salt would snort derisively.

2. A.I.: The viral marketing for this movie on the internet set the tone for what Lost would do years later. I'll admit it, I was hooked - and eventually got the special movie poster that had my email handle printed on it as the special gift for everyone who had participated in the online mystery. But while it was a pretty looking Spielberg pic, and gave us Jude Law in a career-making performance, ultimately it all felt flat, neither a compelling drama nor an overly impressive bit of science fiction.

3. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow: Again with the Jude Law. This one had so much buzz - all green screen with amazing effects, and a grand retro-pulp adventure feel, we all hoped it would usher in an era of Doc Savage and Flash Gordon revivals. But if you can't deliver a decent plot, and the actors get lost amidst the effect, people will simply shrug and walk away.

4. The Time Machine: sometimes you've got to wonder why remake a movie that was done really, really well in the past, if you can't deliver the same quality? Rod Taylor was full of geeky adventure in the 1960 version, and the decision to make the lead character American? Why? It's an H.G. Wells story, for cripes sake! And Guy Pierce is English (ed. note: born English, grew up in Australia)! He could do the accent! Saddest part? It was directed by the great grandson of the author, and it was still bad.

5. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: speaking of why do a remake... When we heard Tim Burton was doing a new version of the Roald Dahl story, there was a lot of interest - knowing Burton's distinct visual stylings, how would he interpret the classic tale? And with Johnny Depp on board as the enigmatic candy maker, this one seemed like a ready-made hit. Alas, it was a pale reflection of the 1971 version, containing all the snark and none of the heart. And while Depp's performance was an interesting variation, no one could ever match Gene Wilder in the role. Utterly pointless.

6. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: I may take some flack on this one, but I'll stand by my sadness that this film wasn't better. It was enjoyable, for fans of the books, but didn't we all want it to wash over the planet with a life-changing wave of laughter? It had a good cast. It had good special effects. It had a reasonably-adapted screenplay (though some of the adds were a bit odd). But in the end, it was... mostly harmless.

7. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: This one was really unforgivable. The source material, a couple of graphic novels by Alan Moore, were some of the most literate pulp adventure ever devised. Instead of working with that to craft a film of high adventure, they tore the concept apart, added a couple Americans to appeal to the movie-going audience, and changed a recovering opium addict into Sean Connery. This movie gave steampunk a bad name.

8. Erik the Viking: This should have been Monty Python funny, but instead it was only Monty Hall funny. I know, the joke doesn't quite make sense, and neither did much of this movie. In a way, Baron von Münchhausen was the smart film alternative to this, but neither one set the world on fire, much to our chagrin.

9. Matrix 2/3: Sometimes, when a good movie is made, recognized as being good, and the filmmakers are given the money and creative freedom to expand their vision, you get greatness. Not this time. Where the first Matrix movie had been a lean, mind-twisting tale with groundbreaking special effects, the second and third were muddled, self-indulgent philosophical drivel with gaping plot holes. Alas for what could have been.

10. Waterworld: At the time, it was the most expensive movie ever made. A still-big Kevin Costner in a post-apocalyptic aquatic world should have been really really cool. In the end, the best thing that ever came of it was the stunt show at Universal Studios Theme Park.

Hi. This is nelll now.
Do you agree with this list?

[crazzeto]

Out of that list I liked the following movies:

Sky Captain and the world of tomorrow
The Time Machine
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory
The Matrix 2/3

[project-blu]

too many people shit on matrix 2/3, just like the star wars prequel trilogy, so any list that is snarky like this that has them is crap in my eyes.

but they do have points on films that SHOULD have been great, but weren't (but for different reasons than the stupid as hell ones they gave).

Time Machine, w/ modern technology, should have been AWESOME.
AI coulda done wonders, but it did fall on it's face
Sky Captain is great in my eyes, but i see all the faults and i can't watch it in one setting, despite it's not long run time.

[BambooLounge]

Agree with it mostly except for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Burton's take on the classic novel was interesting and completely in line with Burton's body of work. While, I too prefer the Gene Wilder film, the remake is enjoyable on its own and thanks to a strong tonal shift does not in any way harm the original film. This is sort of like Batman (Burton) and Batman Begins (Nolan)...based on the same character, but approached from two totally different angles, which both happen to yield good films.

Surprised, Snakes on a Plane did not make the list though considering the viral marketing for that one and it turning into a complete dud.

Matrix sequels should top the list IMO as they were complete non-sense and unworthy of following up such an interesting and clever first film. The sequels were merely CGI showcases draped over a pathetically flimsy "Christ analogy" narrative.

[ckelly79]

Haven't seen mummy 3, but yeah, I pretty much agree with the list.

[DoubleJ]

Thought that the Matrix sequels were amazing.

[twonunpackmule]

Originally Posted by BambooLounge

Agree with it mostly except for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory has to be one of the most annoying films I've have ever seen.

It was dreadful.

[Emoney7]

Agree pretty much on all of these. Well agree on 9/10. I like the Matrix sequels too but I recognize they are not good movies and especcially from the setup of the 1st Matrix, they didn't live up at all.

But I must be the only person that likes Hitchhikers, I actually really enjoy that movie and really can't find a fault in it that isn't subjective, but then again I was never big into the books. But Yeah good list of geeky letdowns...

P.S. Haven't seen Mummy 3 yet, but I figured it'd be safe to have an opinion since Rob Cohen (XXX, Fast/Furious, The Skulls, stealth) is directing and you can always count on him for shitty movies.

[Super-VHS]

Originally Posted by Emoney7

Agree pretty much on all of these. Well agree on 9/10. I like the Matrix sequels too but I recognize they are not good movies and especcially from the setup of the 1st Matrix, they didn't live up at all.

And I must be the only person that likes Hitchhikers, I actually really enjoy that movie and really can't find a fault in it that isn't subjective, but then again I was never bug into the books. But Yeah good list of geeky letdowns...

P.S. Haven't seen Mummy 3 yet, but I figured it'd be safe to have an opinion since Rob Cohen (XXX, Fast/Furious, The Skulls, stealth) is directing and you can always count on him for shitty movies.

I like it.

[Emoney7]

Originally Posted by Super-VHS

I like it.

Haha thanks man, apreciate the backup.

[Motorheadache]

Maybe I'm jumping the gun here since it hasn't been out too long, but I'd nominate The X-Files: I Want to Believe. Didn't amount to a hell of a lot considering the anticipation was built up for 6 years.

And maybe they left it off because it was too predictable, but how could the Star Wars prequels not be on this list? Those movies will likely go down as the biggest disappointments in the history of cinema.

[John32]

Originally Posted by nelll

By Ken Denmead


Hi. This is nelll now.
Do you agree with this list?

I don't agree at all with :

The Mummy 3
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
*agrees Waterworld should've been amazing but, I still liked it.

I really enjoyed Burton's take on Charllie. And I had fun with Mummy 3, while by no means a great movie it was enjoyable Saturday-matinee style film.

[John32]

I enjoyed A.I. too, though it hasn't been one Iv'e wanted to revisit a lot. I felt that Spielberg really captured the tone of Kubrick in it. I thought it was pretty cool.